Monday, March 14, 2005

I'm Goin' Down

Today's song comes from Bruce Springsteen's Born in the U.S.A. album, and kicked on just as I started writing the bulk of today's post. I just love it when my Shuffle tries to be funny.

Chicago doctor Richard Phillips is suing his former lover, Sharon Irons, in civil court for emotional distress. This is after she sued him for child-support for their five-year old child, during which he filed a countersuit alleging that she stole his sperm during oral sex and used it to impregnate herself. The criminal court dismissed his charge of theft, stating that he gave it to her willingly and without expectation of return at any point, meeting the legal definition of a gift. In the civil suit, he will have to prove that he was the victim of Irons' sordid semen-stealing strategy in order to receive damages.

Also in Illinois legal news, the state House Judiciary Committee voted unanimously to send the Predator Accountability Act to the House floor for a vote; the act is written specifically to allow prostitutes the right to sue their pimps, which led me to ask what kind of a world we live in where hookers have a better lobby in state government than the environment or public transportation. Of course, getting a bill out of committee probably doesn't take that much work, though the prostitutes may very well have to seek "alternative means" of lobbying the hundred-plus members of the House in order to get the bill passed.

By the way, if you didn't understand the significance and sheer humor of the previous post, think of the movie Heathers. If you still don't get it, I don't want to know you.

AIM: therbmcc71