Friday, April 15, 2005

America, Fuck Yeah!

Yes, today's subject title is doubling as a link to a 6.8 megabyte Flash video. Best music video ever... barring maybe Billy Idol's "Cradle of Love" and Aerosmith's "Rag Doll." Actually, I'm sure that there are better videos, but I just can't think of them right now. "Smack My Bitch Up" is a phenomenal video, so maybe this one's not quite that good. But it's still a great six megs.

Anyway, I sign up for next term's class next week, and I'm not sure whether or not I should do it, since I'm not sure that I'm really funny. I don't get the laughs from the other people in class that they get from the rest of the class. I'm not sure if that's because my stuff's too highbrow or what, but I think it might be, since I didn't get any real feedback from the class with the reading of my opening act for Hamlet II: Weekend at Hamlet's. Or, maybe it's just the fact that I'm not very personable, which might affect their interpretations of my work.

So it's not enough that I don't get any laughter, which makes me think that they don't find me funny, possibly because they don't get the jokes. Better than half of the work that I put together during class doesn't even measure up to my standard of funny. So, it's bad enough when the rest of the world doesn't think you're funny. When you don't think you're funny, you've got problems, and maybe should re-think being at a comedy school.

In-Class Writing
Prompt: Write the sequel to a fairy tale. You have seven minutes.

It wasn't long after Snow White left the Seven Dwarfs that she found how very charming her prince wasn't. After only a few months, the two were arguing to the point where neither wished he had awakened her from her drug-induced coma. To complicate things further, Snow White was beginning to suspect her man was fucking around on her when she discovered a glass slipper in the pocket of his overcoat.

That fucking bitch, Snow White said to herself. If she didn't have that carriage and those goddamn mice... Snow White vowed revenge. She would smash the glass slipper over that skank's head and stick her with it like a broken beer bottle.

While the prince was away, she went back to the dwarfs and hatched a plan with Doc, who was actually an evil genius when he wasn't mining diamonds with the boys. They sent Dopey out on a recon mission, silent as a ninja. When he returned, his flapping ears were a sure sign that Snow White's beliefs were founded, or that Dopey had gotten laid, probably the former.

With that, the dwarfs were sent out on their mission to capture the prince, except for Sleepy and Sneezy, who were in rehab for their valium and cocaine addictions, respectively. When the prince was captured, Doc had to keep Grumpy from cutting off the prince's offending member, while Happy didn't give a shit either way, he was so fucking baked.

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