No, not the Van Morrison version. I was dicking around on my guitar a couple of days ago, playing A and E chords, and I found myself suddenly playing "Gloria" by Laura Branigan. And I really enjoyed it. It's terribly catchy, even twenty-four years later.
Today, some dickwad decided it was in the public interest to place a sticker on one of my fixtures at work. This is bad enough, in and of itself. However, the sticker read, "AMERICA IS NOT A NATION OF MASS IMMIGRATION," and when I read that, I just about hit the roof. I was seriously about five seconds from walking into the security office to look at the tapes and see who put that sticker there, so I could kick the guy in the head a few times while he was, no doubt, on his way to a Ku Klux Klan rally. I mean, I'm all for free speech in the home and in public, and I have no problem with the notion that this guy might be putting placards on his front lawn, come election season, advertising his intention to vote for Strom Thurmond on the segregation ticket. What I do have a problem with is the fact that this xenophobic suburban honky decided that he was going to spread the word of whatever misguided political sect he happens to by defacing things where I work.
Fucker, you live in an area where the median income is $68,656, and the racial makeup of the city is ninety-three percent white. I don't think the Mexicans are jumping the border to take your job, so fuck you, you socially retarded, very likely inbred, Oberweis-voting, closed-minded motherfucker, and don't ever let me catch you putting that sticker anywhere near me, because, unless you're a Native American, you're a goddamn hypocrite, because somewhere back in time, your ancestors came over on a boat, and I will kick you in the fucking head.