Thursday, June 16, 2005

Best of You

I still have no muse. Yes, I'm still accepting applications. No, you probably won't get the job for whatever reasons I entailed a post or two ago. All of the girls in my life that are arm's-length or better from me seem to be dating guys or married, and most of the time I'm the last to know any of this. And, of course, being single is one of the main candidacy-factors in being my muse-of-the-day. It's like, there are none; I can't even compile a short-list.

Although Yoda did speak to me in a wision (of wery beautiful women in willages), and he said to me, "No, there is another."

My new computer is pretty nifty. It's an Athlon64 3000+ with a gigabyte of RAM and a GeForce 6600GT. It's not state of the art, but that would have cost me about another thousand dollars for an extra twenty-five percent on the performance. For that price, I could have bought a Mac. Instead, I settled for this, and it marks the first time that I've ever built a computer and it actually worked the first time I turned it on. I also bought the only computer case the store had that didn't have a window or neon lights, because I think that looking at computer parts is about as exciting as watching manatees fuck.

See what I mean?

My parents are going away in a few days. They'll be gone for over a week, leaving me alone in the house, which I'd planned to convert into a den of profoundly carnal sins, complete with the classic blinking Christmas lights in June that has adorned bachelor pads since the beginning of time, in some technological form or another. Instead, since there are no more single women, it's pretty much going to be night after night of me strumming my guitar. Take that literally or figuratively, whichever makes you more comfortable, but I should let you know that I do indeed have a guitar that I strum fairly regularly; often while I'm talking to people on AIM. Again, whichever makes you more comfortable.

In music news, Pink Floyd is playing at Live 8 on July 2. That Pink Floyd is playing at all is impressive enough, but this is Pink Floyd comprised of David Gilmour, Rick Wright, Nick Mason and Roger Waters, who hasn't been part of the band since The Final Cut, back in 1983. As a side-note, while Pink Floyd didn't play Live-Aid back in 1985, David Gilmour was indeed onstage, playing guitar for Bryan fucking Ferry of Roxy Music fame; lord only knows why.

In movie news, Roger Ebert gave the new Batman film a four-star rating, thus signaling the beginning of the end of the world. Who knows, maybe my "den of carnal sin" plan will work out after all, because that one's lumped into the signs of the apocalypse somewhere after, "President Bush increases funding to Africa, and actually signs the fucking check."

Finally, in television news, Tom Cruise is getting crazier by the day, nearing the point where Michael Jackson is going to look over and go, "What the fuck is with that guy?"

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