Wednesday, September 21, 2005

It Just Works

First things first: Mark, call your mother. I know you're going to read this eventually, and probably sooner than later. Call your mother; she wonders and probably worries about you.

I don't have a song to use for this post, because I'm typing from my new toy, which doesn't have any music installed on it at the moment, and I'm not at my house, so I can't use my wireless network to screw around on my PC's iTunes. I'm currently watching my friend Scott play Burnout Revenge (which I would italicize, if only I could find the icons and such for it, as I think that's a cookie thing that I don't have set up in Safari yet). Whoops, I said the S-word, which further illuminates things for those in the know, so I'll just make it plain:

I bought an iBook.

It's tremendously nice in every respect I've found for it so far, with the exception of Marble Blast Gold and Nanosaur, which I immediately threw into the Trash Can. Yes, I'm back to using trash cans; no more recycle bins of the Evil Empire. I'm also getting a crash course in Mac OS X, which I've used for about ten minutes in my entire life, five of which were spent playing with GarageBand, and the other five were spent trying to figure out how to boot up GarageBand. The screen on this thing (the 12" model, mind you) is absolutely gorgeous, and I've been spending some time enjoying the DVD-viewing program. Unfortunately, the DVD that I'm watching is a pan-and-scan version of King Arthur which I never took back to Hollywood Video after buying it last week.

I suppose Keira Knightley is probably just as hot in pan-and-scan as she is in widescreen, though. Sadly, I'm about twenty minutes into the movie, having paused it several times to either complain about its lack of quality or to extoll the power of Macintosh to Scott, who isn't quite fascinated by it, but has granted it a certain level of approval; shocking, given that his entire computing life consists of playing games, which is actually pretty much what I was doing with my computer, explaining my general absence from my blog in these months since buying World of Warcraft, but I haven't seen Keira Knightley once, and that was the whole reason for buying the DVD in the first place. Thankfully, I can't really play games on this computer, so I have to be somewhat productive. I suppose I'll be productive until such time as I start watching Pirates of the Caribbean one of these days and find myself unable to stop. The new trailer for Keira Knightley's new movie Domino is up at the Apple site, but I've only watched it once because I object to Tony Scott's photographing Keira Knightley (who I can not refer to as either 'Keira' or 'Knightley', as that would take away from her hotness, with her Brandi Chastain-like pornstar name) in some sort of piss-yellow

I have to say that Burnout Revenge, the fourth game in the Burnout series, is absolutely phenomenal. Sure, it's probably way too easy to succeed in the game, but I've never been a fan of games that I can't beat (Metroid Prime, for example, which once made me throw my controller down in anger and utter profanities for at least two minutes, using the words, "goddamn piece of shit monkeyfuck programmer bastards!" as a sort of refrain). The crash mode in Burnout Revenge is as good as it's ever been, which is saying a lot, because the crash mode was always the most enjoyable part for me, since it doesn't involve racing or quick reactions as it does a methodical thinking process about collisions, movement, inertia and mass. To put it more simply, it's a matter of driving a car very fast into traffic, shunting that traffic into another lane and repeating the process in an attempt to take out as many cars on the road as possible before your own car is destroyed in one of these collisions. To use a sports analogy, it's akin to taking out the dividers between bowling lanes and seeing how many lanes' worth of pins you can take out with one ball (yes, I know you're saying to yourself right now, "But bowling isn't a sport..." but you get my point). To use a movie analogy, it's like Charles De Mar saying, "Go that way very, very fast... if something gets in your way, turn," but without the whole part about turning.

I think my writing might be better on this machine, or maybe it's because I've actually got something to talk about, beyond those Elf Slapping bastards on Bloodhoof, who I will continue to reference until such time as this blog ranks above theirs in a Google search for such. I have no such wishes for the neat folks in Flying Cows of Doom, because they've got an obscenely cool guild name, which has almost made me accept their invitations for membership.

Well. Time for me to go back to my iChat and see what the old-school Fubar boys are up to. Catch you cats on the flipside.

AIM: therbmcc71