My Father's Gun

Dick Cheney's going to have to go hunting for a lawyer, following a hunting incident Saturday, in which the AP news story begins, "Vice President Dick Cheney has been given a warning citation for breaking Texas hunting law by failing to buy a $7 stamp allowing him to shoot upland game birds."

Now, if a news story starts out like that, you'd think that would be about the gist of it. And, really, it is, as it seems to gloss over the really juicy bits, such as (seriously, I'm not making this shit up):

The department found the accident was caused by a "hunter's judgment factor" when Cheney sprayed another hunter while aiming at flying birds.

The report said the victim, prominent Republican attorney Harry Whittington of Austin, was retrieving a downed bird and stepped out of the hunting line he was sharing with Cheney. "Another covey was flushed and Cheney swung on a bird and fired, striking Whittington in the face, neck and chest at approximately 30 yards," the report said.

... HOLY FUCKING AARON BURR!

The story... somehow... manages to go on as a piece about how Cheney apparently didn't have the appropriate $7 stamp to hunt upland quail or something. Liberal media, my ass. If we were still running things, this would be the only news story out there right now: "Ladies and gentlemen, we're breaking into your Olympic coverage to just let you all know that the vice-president fucking shot somebody."

Y'know, I gotta say this: I may not like the Bush administration, but goddamn, are they ever entertaining.


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