Everybody Wants to Rule the World

Yeah, yesterday was election day here in Illinois, and I pulled a Democratic ballot. Let me tell you, I really thought it would be more exciting than it was, because nobody ran for half of the county posts. Granted, you're throwing your money away if you're running as a Democrat in the suburbs (fucking rich Republican fat bastard stronghold, this area), but you'd think they'd at least try to get someone's name on the ballot for the November election. You know, just to make it look as though they were trying to provide a healthy sense of competition. As it stands, I made liberal (pun intended) use of the Write-In section, voting for various friends for local positions and myself for county treasurer. Sadly, I didn't even get two percent of the vote.

So, while I was looking at the ballot, I got down to the bottom-right section of the front page, before I turned it over and voted against a silly tax that would pay for widening roads, which would only end up encouraging more of the aforementioned Republican bastards to move out here, and I actually giggled at what I saw. I giggled in a voting booth, and continued to do so as I filled in the little circle. Here's the result from the election coverage:


STATE CENTRAL COMMITTEEWOMAN 14TH CONGRESSIONAL DISTRICT
VOTE FOR 1
(WITH 64 OF 64 PRECINCTS COUNTED)
ELIZABETH PENESIS. . . . . . . . 2,647 99.66
WRITE-IN. . . . . . . . . . . 9 .34

I shit you not, this is real. The vast majority of Kendall County Democrats love Penesis!

It's official: Democrats are actually embracing being a laughing stock in Kendall County now.

Now, if this lady is married, I'd recommend going back to her maiden name, and if she's not married, I'd recommend she find a man, fast. Because let's pretend for a moment that she tried running for the United States Congress against (in this district) Speaker of the House Denny Hastert: Any reporter covering the race would start giggling every time he tried to talk about the significance of the Hastert-Penesis race. Let's cut to a Democratic supporter: "I think we need Penesis on Capitol Hill!" As it stands, I think I voted to send Penesis downstate, but I really don't know what the Central Committee does. However, I definitely think the Democrats need Penesis in the national spotlight.

That's right, any time I need a quick dash of political humor, we're just going to report from the front lines of the Penesis campaign, because – even after typing it as many times as I have – it still makes me giggle.


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