Update 3: Come Pick Me Up

So, about two hours after my last post, I got into a fender-bender in the parking lot of the Denver International Airport, so I haven't been able to get to the local Pantera Bread to keep everyone updated on my vacation. At the moment, I'm quite stuck here, as some broad blew through a stop sign and ran into my front-left quarter-panel and knocked the wheel about ten degrees off of vertical. Thanks, lady. At least I'm having a good time here in town.

Elitch Gardens, the local amusement park, used to be owned by Six Flags; used to because it's like the redheaded stepchild of any of the other amusement parks I've ever been to. For the sake of comparison, Elitch Gardens sits on 28 acres with six roller coasters, by comparison to Six Flags Great America (in scenic Gurnee, Illinois), which occupies 300 acres and has twelve roller coasters. Cedar Point (just off of beautiful Lake Erie, which I'm still waiting to catch on fire again) occupies 364 acres, with 17 roller coasters.

It should also be stated that the rides at Elitch Gardens generally suck. Of course, I only went on one roller coaster, because one of the girls in the group I was with wanted to ride nothing more complex than the tilt-a-whirl, and then would begin moping every time someone mentioned going on, I don't know, an actual roller coaster. When four of us finally actually got on a roller coaster, the thing seemed like it was going to fly apart at any moment, or maybe it was the fact that there was absolutely no padding on the shoulder-harnesses, which would be really good if the park was trying to channel a sort of old-school carny-vibe, which no one ever should, even if they are actual carnies.

I found out, shortly after my last post, that my blog cannot be accessed from Pantera Bread's free wi-fi connection, as they deem my site to feature 'Objectionable content' or some such thing, which is actually the same excuse they give for hardcore pornography. Thankfully, I got the internet up and running at my friend's house, which I was supposed to do several days ago, but didn't have the chance to get around to for several reasons, not the least of which was that awesome Broncos game yesterday, which preceded the giant clusterfuck that was the Bears' season opener.

Now to fix the DVD player's display, which has apparently been quite messed up for a while. I'll leave another message, at the latest, from one of Iowa's fine wi-fi enabled rest stops, which oddly puts Iowa leaps and bounds ahead of other seemingly more technologically savvy states, such as Illinois. I think there's one right before I turn south to go hit the Whitey's Ice Cream in Davenport, which has two notable things to it: 1) It's a place in the twenty-first century that's called Whitey's, and 2) They've apparently got very good ice cream. Pity it's probably not carrot cake ice cream season yet.


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