Monday, August 15, 2005

It Makes No Difference

I'm in a world of hurt right now from knocking down half of a twelve-ounce bag of Raisinets in a sitting. This is the result of there being no food in my house, barring about a half-pound of ground beef in the fridge, which I don't want to cook because I don't want to have to clean the pan after I'm done. Raisinets, on the other hand, are a decidedly low-preparation, low-mess kind of food, provided it's not ninety degrees or above in the room in which they are being stored or consumed. Therefore, I was tempted by their low-maintenance ways into eating half of the bag, and now I'm feeling queasy in a way that I haven't felt since I tried my first and last McGriddle.

Stuck on You wasn't that good and Ghost in the Shell was probably really fantastic, except I was too tired to read the subtitles while I was watching it (it's not dubbed), and so for all I know it's about a robotic dog named Moshi. I still haven't watched Confidence or A Mighty Wind, and won't be getting any new DVD's until I make it through those two. Hell, I still haven't watched The Life Aquatic.

Something I did watch, though: I happened upon a show on FX called It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, which was in its second episode, in which one guy uses being pro-choice to get laid by his ultra-Christian girlfriend and another guy goes to an abortion rally to pick up chicks. Trust me, it's a hell of a lot funnier than I make it sound, and I deemed it to be the funniest half-hour I've ever seen on television. I mean, it started kind of slow, but the ending really paid off quite nicely. Here's the commercial for that episode in Windows Media format. It's on Thursday nights, and I highly recommend it to my readers who are not easily offended.

If you are easily offended, piss off, and you don't want to know what I was doing with your mother last night.

See, and now those people are gone. I like how that works, but I suppose I should have tried it at the top of the post, because now they've already reaped the benefit of learning not to over-eat Raisinets (and McGriddles, by association) and they're probably calling FX right now to cancel the show because I offended them after recommending the show, and therefore -in their troubled minds- the show offended them. At this point I realize that I should have touted Donny Deutsch and Bill O'Reilly, because getting those two jackholes off of the airwaves would be entirely too much of a blessing for me to handle.

I've actually got nothing right now, other than that uncertain feeling that moving from my chair to my bed would be too much for my stomach to handle. I'm unfortunately entirely too tired to go to out for food -real food, not Raisinets; or at least as real as food gets at 1:30 in the morning. Therefore, I'm going to start watching The Last Waltz, and eventually move on to bed. Which is where we get the title of today's post.

The road was our school; it gave us a sense of survival. It taught us all we know. There's not much that we can really take from the road. We've had our share. Or maybe it's just superstitious... You can press your luck. The road has taken a lot of the great ones: Hank Williams, Buddy Holly, Otis Redding, Janis, Jimi Hendrix, Elvis... It's a goddamn impossible way of life. No question about it.

AIM: therbmcc71