Tuesday, August 30, 2005

The World At Large

Don't hang on. Nothing lasts forever but the earth and sky.

Yeah, I'm quoting "Dust in the Wind," but it's fitting on a number of levels, one of which is representative of my classically venomous yet vaguely poetic self; a little quality that I've made all my own. In any case, generally speaking, nothing lasts forever, barring the above exceptions made by Kansas, and the current presidential administration is trying its damnedest to prove even them wrong.

I used to like the song "Dust in the Wind" until one day I sat down with my guitar, started playing it, and somewhere along the line, completely without noticing what hellworthy sin I was committing, I started playing "Silent Lucidity" by Queensryche, a song I've never liked, and it pretty much wrecked "Dust in the Wind" for me. One song's similarity ends up destroying the masterpiece, sort of like how "She Will Be Loved" makes me hate everything that Maroon 5 has ever done ... and will ever do. Okay, it's a bad example, because there's no masterpiece, there, but I just like taking jabs at Maroon 5.

Speaking of dust in the wind, Sunday was the fifteenth anniversary of the Plainfield tornado, which destroyed Plainfield high school, my geometry teacher's house, and the local video store, blowing the porno section on to my high school's football field. No, seriously, one of my friends recovered a copy of Splendor in the Ass from the forty-yard line. Yes, it's funny because it's true. Also true is the fact that my high school's homecoming game was against Plainfield, and the unofficial slogan was apparently, "Blow 'em away, they're used to it." Cruel and heartless, certainly, but there is nothing on this earth more cruel and heartless than a motivated teenage student body. The other big one that year was noting how the name of the town was so very apropos, as Plainfield had been reduced to being a plain field.

And, if your sense of humor is anywhere near as dark as my own, it's funny... because it's true.

Little something I failed to mention in my last post: I met Wizzo at work earlier in the week. While this may sound to the uninitiated like a repeat of the Urinator Incident from a showing of Speed 2 at my first movie theater, Wizzo was actually the resident magician on the Bozo Show. Now, this is a big event for me, seeing how the Bozo Show inspired one of the great and famous fuck-ups of my life, when I single-handedly managed to cause the end of my relationship with one of my girlfriends because I was inspired to call her Bozo Bucket Number Six. I relayed to Wizzo the story of how I happened to do such a thing and he immediately responded that it was a stupid move on my part. A few minutes later, he said it was clever, though, and the girl should give me another chance.

So there you have it. I have a celebrity endorsing me.

EDIT: Okay, so while screwing around on my guitar and listening to Nina Gordon (who is currently putting together a new album with Bob Rock), I came up with another couple of songs that are exactly the same: "18 & Life" by Skid Row can segue directly into "Listen To Your Heart" by Roxette (as Nina Gordon did at the end of her live recording of "18 & Life"), but even that can go directly into "Because the Night", whether you're listening to the original Patti Smith version or the 10,000 Maniacs version, though I might add that it's a Springsteen song through and through, regardless. In any case, I never really liked the Skid Row song or pretty much anything by Roxette, but if it's played by Nina Gordon, then it's gotta be good.

Why? Because chicks with guitars drive me wild.

Double-EDIT: Might I also add that the chord progression for "18 & Life" and the other songs is exactly the same as the progression for "Tonight and the Rest of My Life", possibly explaining why it seemed so easy for Nina Gordon to play it. Of course, then again, this is Nina Gordon we're talking about, so just see the above comment about chicks with guitars and you'll see why it is that I find it impossible for her to do anything wrong.

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