Family Circus Blows

The Chicago Sun-Times keeps fucking with my comics. Granted, I think most of the time their comics are fair to mind-numbingly dull, lacking the necessities of Peanuts, Fox Trot or Get Fuzzy (which had the greatest and most obscure Pink Floyd joke in history as the basis for one of its strips). In some papers, the comics section is one of the highlights, but the Sun-Times' only redeeming factor in this category is La Cucaracha. Other than that, the whole section sucks... Especially Family Circus.

I had this giant rant to go on about El Presidente, but I've since decided that I'm going to just have to start a separate blog for going on my political rampages, since they're not terribly funny.

I refuse to see Van Helsing for the reason that it rehashes some of the great Universal movie-monsters, such as Dracula, the Wolf Man, Frankenstein's Monster, Mr. Hyde (which may not be classic Universal, but is certainly classic after League of Extraordinary Gentlemen), but commits a cardinal sin by not including the Creature from the Black Lagoon. That's like making a Peanuts movie without Marcie. Oh, sure, most people wouldn't notice the absence of Peppermint Patty's Velma-esque lesbian sidekick, but is a necessity for a definitive production. Sure, the movie's probably a lot of silly fun, and Kate Beckinsdale's accent would probably keep me laughing for half of the movie, but I'm not going unless everyone's favorite fish-monster makes an appearance.

And, finally, one of these days, I'm going to figure out some substitute for footnotes, so I don't have to keep using parentheses, because parenthetical statements tend to break up the rhythm of a sentence, and are generally only there to serve as clarification for anyone who just doesn't understand whatever it is that I'm talking about, or as a jackass comment that could be done entirely without. That said, the only other thing going through my head right now as I listen to things like Aphex Twin, Paul Oakenfold, the Mortal Kombat soundtrack and The Gray Album, I find myself wondering, "What would a techno remix of a movie look like, and how would one go about it?" Yet another reason I need to get a Mac.

And now I'm checking to see whether this is a bullshit error, or Blogger has actually broken compatibility with my comment-thingy.

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