Here, Have Some Gauze...

The following is a post that I thought had been lost to the Blog Monster a couple of days ago. I was feeling rather ill at the time, which is why it sucks. I might add that I probably don't have any of the diseases I listed in the post, but we still haven't ruled out the possibility of pneumoconiosis.

I'm going to preface this by saying that I feel like crap and I really don't feel like posting, and I'm probably going to pass out before I properly edit this post, so it's going to read very poorly. My girlfriend says I probably just have the flu, but I think it's probably encephalitis or West Nile or Polio or something like that. Granted, I always think it's something like that, or if it is the flu, then it's the Spanish Flu or Influenza or something. I refuse to believe that it's just the flu. In any case, I'm going to miss the Bears game because of this.

I can't seem to crack the $80 million barrier on the Hollywood Stock Exchange. I keep floating just under it, but I can't seem to get that extra *oomph* to get another million dollars out of my portfolio. If only I was this good at the real stock market. Okay, so they start you out with two million dollars and you invest in movies, movie stars, funds, options... makes sense, right? So, you buy a movie for a certain price, which is governed by how much the movie is going to make in its first four weeks of release, and so you look for a bargain. For example, I bought Fahrenheit 9/11 at a shade over five dollars, and it cashed out at around a hundred, netting me a cool five-million smackers. That was my Blair Witch investment for the year.

Anyway, a date's been set for John Sayles' new movie, Silver City, which is said to be some sort of satire with regard to the President. This can only be a good thing, since it's coming out before the election, though it'll probably play on about ten screens across the country, as it's a John Sayles film. The Alamo doesn't count, since that one should've played on about ten screens. But the cast for Silver City is absolutely huge: Richard Dreyfuss, Chris Cooper, Daryl Hannah, Thora Birch, Maria Bello, Miguel Ferrer, Billy Zane, Kris Kristofferson, Tim Roth... I mean, granted, most of these parts could be nothing more than a Player-style cameo, but it's still a hell of a cast.

You've got to love Hollywood's blatant disregard for the current political regime. More than that, you've got to love the way that the regime's supporters can't take a joke. I wonder if they're going to file with the Federal Election Commission that Silver City amounts to an illegal campaign for the Democrats; the FEC, though, recently cleared Fahrenheit 9/11 on those very charges. But, where are the Republicans in all of this? Why don't they have movies? And don't say it's because they're morally above it, because this is the group that decided to impeach Bill Clinton over a hummer.

Anyway, this post is total crap, but it could be my last one before I expire from cholera, Yellow Fever, Scarlet Fever, Rheumatic Fever, scurvy or that flesh-eating bacteria. Who knows, maybe it's just Cooties.

AIM: therbmcc71